I woke up last night laughing to myself about stupid experiences I have had and some of my friends have told me about concerning their friends. We could either be the friend who does these things, I wont lie am the culprit sometimes, or you may be the friend who has these things done to you. I decided to list the ones I hear most about, not to be judgmental or anything I don’t mean they are bad friends or unworthy of our time, though some are better off in our past.
- The “no boundary” friend
I hear about this one A LOT the friend who has your boyfriends’ number and calls him up every opportunity she gets. To ask for his help in a certain project, to ask him to come pick her up when its raining and for the bold type of no-boundary, to ask him to send her credit. All of this is done without your knowledge and before you know it you are always getting wind of the two being caught out at a party, at a restaurant or unfortunately at his place. Your friend may have known your boyfriend along time before you started dating but in such situations I always advice the friend to pick one side and stay loyal to one side you don’t need your friend telling you all the things your boyfriend was doing on Friday night when they all went out. I have far less to say about the man who entertains his girlfriends’ friend because that is a whole entire blog all together. However, this type of friend needs to know her place, I mean literally know her place and not your boyfriends place lol and she needs to stay there.
- The “sticky fingers” friend.
I don’t know if this one and the no boundary friend belong in the same group but I had to give this one some bit of special attention, a shout out lol. This isn’t the friend who takes your lip gloss or jewelry and tells you they have “stolen it” no! this is the one who shows up to your place with her huge bag and makes it a duty to help you permanently clean up your room and relocate your stuff. So you notice your entire victoria’s secret lip gloss set is missing so you call her up the next day…
You: sweetie do you remember that lip gloss set I had?
Friend: yea I do
You: imagine it’s missing, I may have misplaced it but I just can’t get where I put it.
Friend: gawsh Si I left it there that day you showed it to me, you remember? You may have misplaced it. Ama someone took it?
(There is a special place in hell just for you and it isn’t fabulous sister. Hehehe)
- The wanna be, gotta be, never gonna be friend
Oh how I love this one, not because they will create fallacies in their head but they are sincerely very entertaining once in a while this is a great story telling quality but once you make it a habit everyone will start seeing right through you. This is the one who went to France last week and has no photos to show for it and whose sibling doesn’t know about any trip outside Nairobi. You know the one whose fathers’ aunt is married to the niece of the prime ministers personal assistants neighbors’ cousin on their mothers’ side? Yup that one, the one who knows the personal story of every socialite in the country and the color of their bedroom walls yet you have never seen them together. The one who claims to be at every party of the season (no photos and no one saw them there) and seems to know every celebrity who was in the vicinity. I don’t know if it’s low self esteem that drives people to create lives, fantasies, personalities, stories and dreams in their heads and feed them to people as reality. It could all be true for some but seriously, we really don’t need to know all the nitty gritty of what some celebrity was saying to the waiter when your cousin is busy talking about the fun sleep over you had at your place that night. Complete unnecessary nonsense.
- The "it’s all about me" friend.
You: so how are you?
Friend: am great! I didn’t tell you… (15 minutes of her story)
You: (constantly interjecting with numerous, really, seriously, you don’t say, OMG’s,)
Friend: and you? How have you been?
You: I am ok. I have something amazing going on I will be…
Friend: gawsh I didn’t tell you about that time when I saw… (Another 15minutes)
Don’t get me wrong listening to a friend is great but when you struggle to get a word or conversation in ALL THE TIME, it’s weird. Let me not mention that they are the ones who always end up hearing about something that’s happening with you from somewhere else.
Friend: you are such a bad friend, why didn’t you tell me you are flying out?
You: I tried telling you the other day when we met.
Friend: no you didn’t.
You: ok I guess I forgot o_O
I don’t know how serious these characters are to some of us but you be the judge. Feel free to add more of the crazy things you have experienced.
