Holiday Is Over

As much as I may be running away fripom blogging, it always seems to find me. Its like that one thing I can't run away from. So anyway here I am... Again! After nearly a whole year though maybe I do honestly feel I have a lot to share and give... So let me give it one more try before you all give me the 'loser blogger' tag.lol

THINK LIKE A BOSS

I have learnt over the past year when it comes to relationships, that the most important thing for me is the ability to be my own boss and speak up for my heart and stand up for myself. With everything that goes on around me, things I see, things that affect me, things that affect those close to me, I have concluded that the only women who will survive that big thing called love are the ones with the ability to know what they will stand for and what they will not.

I was buying movies yesterday and in this little room SILENTLY sat my movie guy and three other ladies. I noticed they weren’t really buying anything and I wondered(loudly) if they could give some of us room to pick what we want because we were in an obvious hurry(I really wasn’t, my movie guy was giving me the get them out of here look and I just obeyed). Luckily, they left and when they did I got to hear the most pitiful story in the entire world. One of the ladies who had come there had been desperately begging my movie guy to go out for lunch with her and he was just sitting there ignoring her. He continued to tell me how she would call him persistently every single minute of the day, beg him to come over to her house for lunch and even insist on sending him a taxi or send him the money for a cab…O_O I don’t know about you but I always wonder how a woman would have the strength to beg a man for ANYTHING. If he can’t give you his time, attention and affection freely then what more do you need to ask from him other than to tell him to stop wasting your time and to get out of your life.

I don’t mean to point a finger at anyone but most of us ladies have become so desperate for a man, any mans, attention that we are ready to hunt and chase him despite his obvious disinterest. How you will be treated by a man is carefully embedded in how you view yourself, how you think and how you also treat and portray yourself. Seriously, a man who ignores you, who you have to beg for his attention and who can not treat you like a queen isn’t worth your time but truth of the matter is, how can a man treat you like a queen when you behave like a beggar, please be sure he will throw the little coins he has in his pocket into your little collection cup.

I have always believed that women are the ones who control everything. They have the emotional ability to fully understand their men and with that be able to influence him into favoring her, and her alone. This is not by manipulation or by desperation but by the power of her mind, her femininity, her heart and her strength and all of this power is simply a result of her knowing herself and being her genuine self around him. If a man doesn’t appreciate that you are genuine and you are the real deal then let him go find something else but begging him for commitment that he obviously isn’t willing to give, is just Cray. Be the boss of your life and of every situation that you come across.

Discerning a man who is into you and one who is not really isn’t rocket science, a man who is in awe of you shows it, plain and simple, he doesn’t show it once a month or when he remembers you exist but EVERY SINGLE DAY with no excuse, just think of how he chased you when he wanted you that’s how it should be. Let them call you high maintenance or whatever but above all else that man ought to respect you. Craving attention over respect is what is leading so many of us astray and what is making every man believe that every woman he will get into a relationship with, really doesn’t expect much from him. Why the hell would you want the attention of a man who isn’t even sure if he wants to be with you in the next 5minutes let alone the next day, isn’t it just pointless? Choose to be single and happy rather than be in that “relationship” every fortnight and be miserable.

Anyway fabulous sweethearts lets just encourage one another and create an air of self-love and self-importance for ourselves, make your time and your heart worth something that should be treated with respect!

ETIQUETTE 101

Call me an old lady or whatever but I like doing things as they are meant to be done. Proper procedure and proper etiquette to me is so important when it comes to getting proper results. At times I have that supposed stick up my behind but it’s for a good reason I just like the formal way of doing things and if something isn’t done the right way it just pisses me off.

Such things never bothered me before until recently. Number one, do not call me over for lunch if I will end up cooking the food myself I could have just stayed home. Number two, I don’t do dishes in other peoples homes especially where I was invited over for lunch, I say this with the utmost kindness, DO THEM YOURSELF. I always have shocking encounters with people, is it that I am easily shocked or that people are easily shock-ING or I just exude what I attract? (It’s them not me so whatever.)

The other day when visiting another shock creating being, she spent the entire day telling me terrifying stories about how people get robbed, beaten and thrown in the bushes naked in their neighborhood. Then later when I had to leave she told me that I had to walk to the stage by myself because her and her boyfriend didn’t want to get robbed. So I changed into my batman outfit and took the long journey through the terrible crime infested zone of Gotham city to the stage, by myself. Long story short we don’t talk as much anymore and I never called her when I got home because I think I spent half the night wondering where and how she was raised and who actually raised her. lol. A sucky raising job was done and the fact I didn’t call her back was enough proof that I thought that her manners sucked as well. Lol.

Do you see why I just hate improper mannerisms, especially when you don’t call back after spending a LOVELY day with someone? I love cooking (sometimes) and when I invite you over for lunch, dinner or breakfast it’s my own way of saying “I care about you so welcome to my world”. Unlike the rest of the female population I have associated with in the past, I make an effort to make my guests comfortable, I don’t tell them horrifying stories about my neighborhood because I actually want them to come back and I walk them to the stage and ensure they board the bus or matatu. I stand there with them until they get on the bus so I NEVER understand why some people don’t call to say thank you for lunch and I got home safely. Seriously, did you die on the way home? Wasn’t your day as lovely as I made sure it was? Were you kidnapped? Was my food so bad that the minute you got home you had a bout of diarrhoea that lasted the whole night? Did you get on the wrong bus? Was your phone stolen? Did you make an unfortunate unexpected stop at Gotham city like me? Lol.

The list of improper things to do goes on and on, returning things you borrow IMMEDIATELY. Notice the word immediately means immediately after you borrow them and not when you will be done over-using them. Saying please, I am sorry and thank you (etiquette 101) I could go on with this but I will just get stressed and pass out.

A lady is without a doubt her mannerisms and behavior so I am not going to make a speech on change who you are but make it short and simple. Seriously if the above things are a reflection of who you are si you should just adopt and embrace something called CHANGE.

COPING WITH PROBLEMS

It takes a while for one to realize that hardshipsin life are nothing but just a vicious cycle of some sort. Some of them always end up being an answer to our prayers, leading us from one level of immaturity to an amazing level of in-depth understanding of what life is about. Then later when you get to understand what the problem is about and you are just getting over it, that’s when life puts someone in your path who is going through the same thing and will obviously need your guidance. I have been going through quite a bit over the past month. This has put me on a whole new level of understanding and respect especially for people who do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams and make their lives better for not only themselves but their loved ones. Their have been days I get home in disbelief of what my day was like and I lock myself in my room and just cry. Not just because it was hard or that I have been pushed so far out of my comfort zone but because I have come to realize that it only gets better from here. Obstacles will never end I really don’t expect to wake up and find life is perfect but what makes it easier is knowing what you need when crap hits the fan.

1.      Positive attitude

As cliché as it sounds their will be times that you need to encourage yourself and tell yourself it will come to pass and you will get over it. When you don’t lift yourself up and get yourself out of that funk then sit back relax get a book coz you will be there for quite a while.

2.      Good support system

I can’t stress this enough a strong support system is like a back up to your positive attitude. I am the type of person that will have a ton of bricks on my head and still tell you “I’m ok”, that did   nothing but make me sink much deeper in my despair. Reaching out to your loved ones will help get the load off your back. That’s why its so important to have people with a strong character around you. Having superficial friends will do nothing but prove to you that you are in trouble.

3.      Belief system

Faith in something or someone is very important. Believing that there is a higher power who has your back is the most important thing in life. Friends wont have your back 100% Its not everyone who will notice that you are out of your element and will go out of their way to ask if you need help or will sacrifice a day out of their busy schedule to help you. Believing that everything is planned out and you will be fine gives you comfort and strength.

4.      Smile

Seriously you aren’t the first to go through problems and you wont be the last so put a stupid smile on your face, it gets better.