KNOWING 'WHAT' YOU ARE DEALING WITH

 GEN 2:18-20
I watched this video based on the Biblical readings above, Gen2:18-20 by Tera Carissa Hodges. The reading is about how God noticed that Adam needed a partner and told Adam "Hey I think you need a partner." Not His exact words but lets go with it. In verse 19 However, God proceeded to give Adam the animals so that He may name them, PRETTY AWKWARD right? You would think God would send Him a wife like two seconds later I mean that is God, He obviously says something and it comes to pass right? Right!
In this case though God puts Adam through assignment number one and NOT a wife. How Tera Carissa explains that is God needed to do that in order for Adam to be able to differentiate the animals with his wife. Makes sense since he wouldnt know what she would look like, was she a bird, a flower, a cat? WHAT was she was the greatest question and not WHO was she?
I find it simply cut throat that you are able to identify WHO it is and not really struggle with WHAT it is but as I thought about it we really do struggle with WHAT we are dealing with. A question in maturity comes to play (as the video title points out) how mature am I? How mature are we really that we can quickly identify WHAT we truly deserve?
I believe God has said He wants to bless us, wants to give us something good but then He takes us through situations where we have to name a bad situation for what it really is. He does this not that we may:
1. Settle
2. Give up
3. Think He did not hear
He does this so we can really call out something for what it really is and not confuse or try microwave it to be what it is not.
You want a great relationship but the guy you go out with isnt really great so you settle because you really do not know WHAT a great guy looks like or WHAT he does. What does a good man really look like, do or say anyway? Same goes for our friends... Unless you really recognise WHAT a bad friend is you will not really know WHAT a good friend does.
Watching the video made me realise the importance of being able to call out a bad thing for what it is. You can not recognise good if you do not recognise the bad first and see what you need to avoid. Instead we choose to settle for 'the animal' as the partner/ friend/ job/ life God intended for us.
A lesson for me is look for the WHAT this person really is and not the HOW he may look like. Part of maturity does involve correctly identifying and being able to distinguish between one thing and another.
REF: Are You Mature Enough To Identify Your Spouse
http://youtu.be/fcZ4Zd61z40

EVELYN LOZADA'S LETTER TO HER 7YR OLD SELF

My internet excursions led me to "Fix My Life" by Iyanla Vanzant with Evelyn Lozada. Those who haven't watched it well the episodes are about Evelyn Lozada focusing on positively changing her life. Reality TV fans know Evelyn from Basket ball wives and she is known for her crazy angry outbursts from throwing wine bottles and getting ready to get into a fight with just about anyone. In Fix My Life, Evelyn mentions how her step daughter was imitating her behavior and this led her to reflect on the choices she has made and the personality she has shown on television.

It is such a powerful letter and I thought of sharing it. There is a lot I can say about the impact a woman's choices has on her daughters and this letter is just a reflection of how that is what is important... who we are and what we leave to our children.

"Dear Mija,

In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create... You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.

You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.

You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star, lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.

It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future step-daughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you...encouraging you...willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you." It’ll be the wakeup call you need.

Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.

I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.

Learning To Love You More,

Evelyn"

REFERENCE:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/05/evelyn-lozada-basketball-wives-letter_n_1571505.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hdO2wCWcKA

WHAT YOU SETTLE FOR IS WHAT YOU GET

I have been having a lot of thoughts on the issue of settling for less especially in regards to relationships. It has been weighing on my heart for so long especially since I made a conscious decision not to do that. If we are friends on Facebook my posts have been relating to this for some time but now I guess I should just blurt it all out already.

Every woman goes through those types of relationships where we do not know WHAT we are doing, to those where we do know but we don't know HOW to do it. Then we go through a confusion phase where we want to experience the perks of a relationship without really being in one. Then finally we realize we are worth so much more and we want something real, something that is based on real values and real commitment. I could just be talking about myself here but I think just one or two people can relate with what I am saying. I had to get to a point where I clearly listed down what type of woman I want to be- this is clearly related to who I am and not being unrealistic and then make a choice to do away with the things that have been holding me back (I am still a work in progress). Then I wrote down the type of man I wanted and MADE A CHOICE TO DO AWAY WITH THOSE THAT WERE NOT IN LINE WITH WHAT I HOPED FOR. 

To get something good you have to position yourself for something better. I had to highlight that sentence because one thing I notice is deep down we hope for good relationships, we know what they look like, we know what is involved in building one but we are not setting ourselves up to get into these types of relationships. Why? Because we settle for what we have now and are busy hoping that something better will come along. The present is everything, with it we can truly analyze just where we are and then get a chance to dream, hope and pray for where we want to be. However, you cant just sit on A and dream of Z and hope you will miraculously get there, please note that there are 24 letters between you and your goal. This means that you have to take the first step in running towards what you want, not complaining that A sure does not look like Z. A has always been that way, you knew it was an A when you first saw it and probably fell in love with it so its either you accept that or start gradually progressing through the stages in life that will get you to Z.

When you pick something and you are not happy with it, you either decide to accept it as it is or just let go of it and pray to find something better. Complaining will not change it when in reality we really ought to be changing ourselves especially our attitude. This boils down to how we view ourselves because if you see yourself worth more than what you are getting, then you will jump at the first chance to make it right. A man who loves you will change and do as you suggested but one who doesn't will keep you entangled in his mess. That is when you walk away and when you walk, HONEY WALK, seriously. Do not half heartedly walk and come back the next day, give him time to grow and give yourself time to reflect on what next(notice how I said WHAT next and not WHO next). I used letters to describe the process of letting go of A to get to Z. Not that you date B right down to Y so you get to Z but that you live life through those 24 steps/levels. Build yourself, build your confidence, let go of past hurts, learn how to make yourself happy. It gets very difficult for you to settle for mediocre when you are at a place in your life where you are healthy.

When you look at the type of man you hope for you should also ask yourself,' am I what he would hope for as well? Am I bringing in quality to the relationship and not just a needy person who does not know how to command (not just demand) the best.' Lets face it good quality men are more likely to get good quality women and rarely can you bullshit your way into getting an intelligent man to invest his time and affection on a lady who will only be a huge waste of his life.

Settling is easy but once you have your eye on the prize it will involve a whole lot more than just expecting life to hand you a good thing while you pick your teeth with a toothpick. Get to understand that complaining about a person is just a silly waste of time and you should do away with it. If you want a situation to change then state it, if it doesn't then leave it and build yourself for a healthy relationship.

CONFIDENCE IN LEARNING

I have been having one of the worst weeks, not worst considering I am now a very happy and in love woman (Be sure to remind me to write a post about this and make the unhappy-with-love people hate me) My personal life has been experiencing a lot of love and light but my work life has been quite the proverbial thorn in my side.

I have never been the over-achiever or the best one in my class, all through high school I just made it by and by the grace of God and countless prayers from my concerned mother I got into university. In university I realized the things that God blessed me with a little into my second/third year. Not that I am blowing my horn or anything but I guess in a post about confidence I am allowed to. I am a people person, an encourager, a catalyst (don't hate me :-D) I see what I call people possibilities and I can instantly see what makes people tick. Honestly speaking it has made me friends- other times enemies- and it does give me great opportunities. So basically over the past few years I have been on "confidence-peak" mountain especially about myself and my abilities. I have been confident about what I know and I know quite a lot of things that are confidence raising. So trying to teach me new things was always met with minimal excitement and in turn whenever I was in situations where other people knew more than me I would feel threatened and pull back. Then in walks this job and I am looking at life at a totally different angle, it hits me that I KNOW NOTHING!

Working as an Exec assistant to a very ambitious CEO can be hard. I love my job, I love the experience but I do not like the challenge. My confidence has taken quite the plunge since started taking up more and more administrative work. Let me tell you, I know very little about administrating anything other than myself let alone an organization.

I will save you the tears that followed after the grim realisation that I know very little and for a while my work output had been quite the "how to be an under-achievers manual" lol or chicken soup for the underachiever :-D I just didn't see the point in trying or pushing myself especially since it wasn't good enough and actually trying to do my best seemed like it was too much- too much to learn anyway.

Here comes the light at the end of my tunnel though. I came to a point where I was very complacent with my abilities. "I am not the best communicator but I am OK, I am not the best Exec Assistant but I am OK". I was OK with being OK though I knew in my head that I want to be the best but being the best involves a lot of learning and re-learning or is it un-learning, it involves making a lot of mistakes and facing a lot of correction (funny how I knew this but never really understood). Being the best actually means you are still on the growing process. My boss told me, "Waithera, growing is painful. I will push you, I will demand so much of you and from you and it will be painful." I hated hearing that but it was true, growing is painful being the best will be painful but it also involves a lot of learning meaning you can't be a know-it-all or a complacent-with-all. And I believe that's how confidence in the workplace grows, when you see yourself as a student, no not the one who skips class but the annoying teachers pet sitting at the front who just loooooves this Monday afternoon triple lesson math class whoopp whoop!

How much can you really know? I am thinking not enough, because if you are confident in the fact that you have all this and that you get hit by the strong fact that there are others who have so much more. If you base your confidence in wanting to enrich your mind, body and soul then it can't be shaken and you never get to a point where you say,"well I am the best in being confident, I am at the peak of confidence".

I call it being confident with knowing nothing not so that we just raise our glasses to being bums but confident in the fact that there is so much out there to learn and experience. Then when you experience it, go after it like a child experiencing and learning all this for the first time.

BOOK REVIEW: ATONEMENT CHILD

Have you ever read something that stuck in your mind for years? In 2004 a friend gave me this book and it has never left my mind. My friends must be rolling their eyes by now going like, "that silly book-AGAIN." It's one of those stories you can never shake off and you will always want to tell. So recently at the book store I saw it and I had to have it in my collection, what's the use of reading something so amazing and not being able to read it as much as you can!

It's by Francine Rivers, again! And this time round it isn't like the last review and based off of the Bible. No. This is a modern day story with characters that you are likely to be friends with, know well and chances are it might even be you. That is how relatable this story is and could be why I have had it ingrained in my mind and heart for so long.

Well the story to me is about choices, choices we make or have been made for us that we may not know have repercussions. The story is centered around a female character, Dinah. A young christian girl who has her whole life ahead of her, a fiance who adores her, a supportive network of friends and a family that loves her. The twist comes in when something absolutely tragic happens to Dinah and her picture perfect world starts having these cracks. The question that begs to be asked here is why do bad things happen to good people? Good thing is, you ask this question in the beginning of the book so there a number of pages to answer that question. Well Dinah's values are shaken and what she held close are no longer what she thought they were and now the world seems like a terrible place and God is so far away.

The great thing about the book is how everyones thoughts are so real and relatable but then how God slowly seems to weave a plan that is not just to help one person but to mend broken families and individuals.
The name itself is a testament to what the book is about "Atonement Child" like Jesus. One being who through his existence brought healing to so many people. What it taught me is most of the decisions we make will one day be reflected in our families esp. If we haven't dealt with issues from the past. Secondly, God is all knowing and what we think was meant to break us and tear our families apart are what He will use to bring us together. Lastly, do the right thing not because its whats popular but are you at peace with yourself, with God- then heck do you boo.lol. I have a whole Bible study course planned out for you now :-D I will slowly step back from doing that.
Well, there you have it. That is what I am reading this beautiful first week of May.

NETWORKING TIPS part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote a few networking tips that I found quite helpful in getting yourself out there and meeting people socially or if it is only for business purposes. So I will be posting the principles and their explanations for you to read and try to incorporate them in small(informal) conversations you may have with someone then on to the much bigger (formal) conversations.
For those who didn't get to read the previous post here is the link and for those who already did, hope you learn something useful :)

 Fabulous Sister: GIRLFRIENDS CONNECT: NETWORKING TIPS part 1

1. describe yourself - elevator speech

This is commonly called an 'elevator speech' or 'elevator pitch' - as if you were to meet a potentially important contact for the first time in an elevator at a conference and he/she asks you: "What do you do?" You have no more than 20 seconds - perhaps just 10-15 seconds - between floors to explain, and to make such an impressive impact that the person asks for your contact details.
If you talk (or write) too much, the listener (or reader) will become bored, or think you are rude or too self-centred.

Be concise. You will demonstrate consideration and expertise by conveying your most relevant points in as short a time as possible.
Here are the main points for creating your elevator speech:

1. your name	"My name is..." Look the other person in the eye. Smile. Shoulders back. Speak with confidence. Sincerity and passion are crucial in making a strong early impression.
2. your business name	"I work for..." or "My business is ..." Loud clear proud again. Do not ask "Have you heard of us..?" or wait for recognition.
3. based and covering where	"I am based..." and "I cover..." Adapt the town, city, geography for the situation. There is little value in mentioning a tiny village if you are at a global gathering, or your global coverage if you are at a local town gathering. Make this relevant to the situation.
4. your personal specialism and/or offering, and your aims	Be different and special and better in some way from your competitors. Be meaningful for the event or situation or group, and as far as you can guess, be meaningful for the contact. Express what you offer in terms of positive outcomes for those you help or supply, rather than focusing on technical details from your own viewpoint. Load your statements here with special benefits or qualities. Be positive, proud and ambitious in your thinking and expression of what you do. Include in this statement what your aims are, to show you have ambition and that you know what you are seeking from network contacts.

Aim to complete your explanation in less than 20 seconds.
Less is more: lots of powerful points in very few words make a much bigger impact than a lengthy statement. It is a sign of a good mind if you can convey a lot of relevant impressive information in a very short time.
Conversely, a long rambling statement shows a lack of preparation, professionalism and experience.

While you are speaking look the other person in the eyes, and be aware of his/her body language to gauge for interest and reaction to you personally, and to help your assessment of the other person's character and mood.
After your 'elevator speech' end in a firm, positive, constructive way.

Ending with a question enables more to happen than letting the discussion tail off nowhere or into polite small-talk.
After giving your elevator speech avoid the temptation to force your business card onto the other person (unless this is the tone and expectation of the event), and certainly do not launch a full-blooded sales pitch.
Instead try to develop the discussion around what the other person wants to do, achieve, change, grow, etc.

2. Be different and ambitious

Look again at how you describe your business offering (or yourself as a person) - what's different or special about it (or you) compared with all the others?
If there is no difference, you must find a way to create one.

Sometimes this is merely a matter of redefining or placing different emphasis on what you already are and already do. This difference must be something that plenty of people will find appealing; ideally irresistible. If you are struggling to find a difference or market advantage, look at your competitors and talk to your customers, and discover what's missing and what can be dramatically improved out there. There is always at least one thing, usually more - perhaps you can bundle two or three powerful market advantages together. This difference needs to shine out in your elevator speech, and be echoed in your subsequent discussions whenever initial interest develops towards supplying something, or putting a collaborative project together.

Aim high and big when thinking about and expressing yourself and your aims. Be realistic of course, but aim to be the best and to lead in some way, in whatever specialisms and market-place you operate.

http://www.businessballs.com/business-networking.htm

WHAT I AM READING

I think I should do a little section on what I am reading at least once every two weeks. I have always loved reading and it's something my mum ingrained in me, purposely or not I really don't know. I remember always rushing to the bookstore section at the supermarket and beg my mum to buy me just one more and she would be so pissed because she bought me one just two days before. She always pointed out that she bought a VERY large book for a reason, so I take up to two months finishing it.lol but I would take two days.
Well my love for them has never faded, it's just the beauty of being in another world. I will spare you the why I love books speech and just get on with it.
I am reading "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. Lately I have had this growing love for christian fiction. I read one of her books years ago and funny thing is it is still ingrained in my mind till today! Well I dashed into a bookstore and I trusted the attendant when she told me I would like this one. I put my trust issues aside and I haven't put down the book since.

It is based on the book of Hosea from the Bible. If some of you are familiar with it, the book is an account of Hosea's marriage to Gomer (a prostitute) his love for her and Gomer's love for her trade- I believe the story goes much deeper, saving the Bible class for later ;) Back to the book. Angel is sold into the world of prostitution at a young age and eventually meets Michael HOSEA (situational irony) and through him she gets to experience a different type of love and commitment.
The story itself is so beautiful as I was relating it to the Bible context each time I read it. Many scholars refer to Gomer as a representation of Israel and Hosea as God and how God loves us despite our non- committal ways and our tainted views of intimacy and love. It's a "back to real love" type of story. I really like it and hopefully if you read it, you can share your thoughts with me, I would love to hear them.
So what are you guys reading? Do share :)

DON'T BE AFRAID TO PROTECT

Still shaken up by what a 5yr old girl was telling us at the salon yesterday. After one of the ladies noticed something strange with how she walked and asked her what was wrong, she revealed that her father has been sexually assaulting her. I am trying to wrap my head around a man who ought to protect his child yet he is doing something so disgusting and unthinkable to her! That to me is the closest thing to murder because he has:
1. Killed her innocence.
2. Shattered her views about sex
3. Most likely damaged her future relationships with the opposite sex.
4. Killed her sense of security and safety
5. If her mother is in some twisted way involved, this will also affect her relationship with other women
The list can go on and on.
There is so much I can say about that vile example of a man and another thing about that innocent babys mother(I dont know circumstances leading to why she is living with her dad, didn't the wife notice his paedophile tendencies? Maybe, maybe not- I dont know) but it brought me back to the statistics last year about 33-34% of women said they would stay with a man even though he was defiling her kids as long as he was providing for her. That is the most proposterous thing I have ever heard! I don't want to say that this was the same case in this childs incident but if it was, we really need to sit back and re-evaluate why we get into relationships, get married and have kids. Is it to keep the man(or woman) with you? Fear of being alone? Not being able to fight for and protect your kids is a clear indication of an individual who probably doesn't really value his/her kids or is lost in some weird place where their safety means so much less than being someones partner.
Back to the salon: We had to take the baby away from that man (girl power) and to the nearest hospital and the police involved. To all parents out there just be very mindful of your kids, its not bad to be the over-protective, in your face, minding my kids business type of parent. I can't believe I am advocating for this but I have no doubt in my mind that it's way better than trusting the world will look out for your children. It doesn't hurt to be safe rather than sorry. To those of us who are around kids, pay close attention to them, open yours eyes and ears and take it upon yourself to make sure they are fine. I know we can't mobilize ourselves and sleep in every 5year olds home just to be sure but educating kids on what to do, if and when someone touches them inappropriately is a good start. They should never be afraid to speak out and trust someone and we should never be afraid to protect and fight for others.

OPPORTUNITY:IT 'IS' THAT SERIOUS

A statement I always here being used is, 'It's never that serious' which is true once you really get to look at your past problems, they were really not that serious! However, people are using this statement on things that they ought to be taking serious e.g your family, your career, your relationships etc. They ARE serious, not serious to the point they are killing you but serious to the point that you should conduct yourself accordingly.
This week I wanted to get the word out that I needed creative assistance. My requirements were simple, send me links to your work e.g a portfolio and an estimation of your charges because I understand creative work varies with a clients needs. I didn't specify much because thats what I wanted at that time. The responses were great, I was so confused about what to pick because I needed a minimum of five to present to my boss, so here I am with HUNDREDS of talented creatives with amazing portfolios, someone say DREAM! However, the real problem comes here, PEOPLE DO NOT TAKE THEIR WORK SERIOUSLY!
I had people responding to me in such an unproffessional manner it was crazy. It had me reflecting on the number of times I probably missed out on an opportunity because I wasn't knowledgeable enough to be courteous or proffessional and in turn I wasn't taken seriously. I am a light hearted person by nature, I love joking around, seeing the humour in most things but when it comes to my work, girl doesn't play. If I didn't have someone guiding me and telling me, you must learn how to be serious, not dead- boring serious but organized, interesting and articulate serious, then I wouldn't even have the opportunities I have now.
Thing is if you don't take your work seriously, no one will. If you don't take yourself seriously, no one will, it's that simple. And many times I have failed because I didn't see the importance of taking an opportunity seriously
1. Take the time to put your work in one place being organized says alot about you.
2. Be honest. Send in your work and not someone elses. Atleast don't lie about something so huge that it will cost you.
3. Learn how to respond as requested. The devil may be in the detail but relax and keep your responses simple and to the point.
4. Be proffessional, if you don't know how, just avoid being rude and seeming like you aren't taking your own work seriously.
Apart from the fact that I just wrote a post that sounds so much like my mother...lol. I think it is helpful and hopefully someone applies some of it and it ends up opening doors to something meaningful and worthwhile.

FAITHFULNESS IS A FAIRYTALE.

The advert that has caused so much chaos on social media, with everyone going up in arms about how terrible or relevant it is.
The first time I watched it I was a bit taken back because last time it was Jimmi Gathu jumping out of closets in the middle of the night saying "achana na mpango wa kando" which basically meant stop your extra marital affairs. Well based on where we are now, That didn't work! So we are on "weka condom mpangoni" (if you are going to be unfaithful, use a condom) Well it is a good message. First, I couldnt shake the fact that someone who looks like my mother can be in an extra marital affair. Yes it happens but dammit, its disturbing. It is an ad that speaks to modern reality, that HIV is spreading mostly with the married couples and that most people will not leave their 'mpango wa kando'. I do believe those are the results of something gone wrong in society but isn't the main issue here immorality? Aren't we supposed to deal with the root of a problem and not the results of it?
I really can't say if its right or wrong, I am not married, I am just a 23yr old girl who has dreams of being married one day. Dreams of being married to a faithful man who has hopefuly been raised by parents who have drilled the importance of being faithful in his relationships. What Jimmi Gathu spoke to me was,"Mo, faithfulness is important, integrity is key to helping you grow and your own personal success as well as your relationships." This new ad says to me, "Mo, you are being a fool to expect faithfulness-grow up. Be realistic."
The last thing I want to do is hate on that ad but I speak from the perspective of a young girl who has been raised right and expects to be next to, not a perfect man, a man who believes in what is right as well. I feel so bad for the young people who are against it but can't open their mouths because it's downright unthinkable to be faithful and to value integrity. All I know is I do not support it because it sends a chill up my spine. I do however, make a choice to demand more from a man than him putting our marriage certificate in his left side coat pocket but he has a condom in his right side back pocket for his mistress. I didn't grow up in a home where I saw my parent sneaking around in the middle of the night or day so I believe God expects me to raise my kids in an equally stable environment.
Someone once told me my views on faithfulness are from a fairytale and are a result of me watching too many romantic movies.  I accept that but I rather live in a fairytale world than crossover to a sad reality where my own partner does not have my own back. May I and all the other people like me live happily ever after.

GIRLFRIENDS CONNECT: NETWORKING TIPS part 1

On the final stages of getting my first 'girl friends connect' forum off the ground. What it is about is just getting friends and their friends (and the cycle continues) together in a fun environment and get to have one on one discussions about:
1. Finance-how to spend, invest and what not to spend your money on.
2. Fashion- make-up, nails, hair, whats hot,where to get what, where, when, why
3. Insurance- what you need to know, what do you need to be insured for and by who. Hmmm
4. Entrepreneurship- get over the fear of failure, how to write a business plan, who is doing what,
5. Education- is that M.B.A necessary, what is the best place to do this or study that,
6. Relationships-yikes!!!!lol I wont get into that but basically famiky, friends, your partner
7. Religion
Though to me it is just a way to have friends and friends of friends come together and have fun while learning some pretty relevant things about anything and everything under the sun. One of my friends brought to my attention the fact that its not just what my little mind can farthom.lol but it can be a networking tool for most. I see it as a social networking endeavour while she saw it as a business networking idea. Anyway, whatever it is, I hope its a fun and informative way to keep in touch with one another, learn something new and grow- whivh is quite necesarry might I add.
Found this today on my daily internet excursions basically about networking 101 and thought I should share hope it will be of help ;)
"These tips apply broadly to any sort of business networking - face-to-face, organized events, business social networking websites, etc:
ten essential principles
1. Elevator speech.Describe yourself concisely and impressively.
2. Be different.Differentiate yourself. Aim high. Be best at something.
3. Help others.Help others and you will be helped.
4. Personal integrity.Integrity, trust and reputation are vital for networking.
5. Relevant targeting.Groups and contacts relevant to your aims and capabilities.
6. Plans and aims.Plan your networking - and know what you want.
7. Follow up.Following up meetings and referrals makes things happen.
8. Be positive.Be a positive influence on everyone and everything.
9. Sustained focused effort.Be focused - and ever-ready.
10. Life balance.Being balanced and grounded builds assurance."
Ref: http://www.businessballs.com/business-networking.htm
Do have an awesome weekend loves :)

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF by PHYLICIA RASHAD

Came across this letter with such beautifully written words by Phylicia Rashad who most of us know from the Cosby show, I couldn't help but sit down and reflect on them.
"Dear Phylicia,
Romantic involvement distracts you and can blind you to what's really
in front of you. And what really is in front of you? You are. You don't
even know yourself yet. You think you know and you want to assert
that you do, now that you're a certain age, but you don't. What's
in front of you is a whole world of experiences beyond your imagination. Put yourself, and your growth and development, first.
There are long-term repercussions to what you're doing now. Everything you do, every thought you have, every word you say
creates a memory that you will hold in your body. It's imprinted on you and affects you in subtle ways—ways you are not always aware of. With that in mind, be very conscious and selective.
With high hopes for you,
Phylicia"
The words hit hard, hit home actually. Many times I have been dubbed selfish especially with my heart. I am painfully selective of who I give it to. I always had this inner awareness from a long time ago that my heart is responsible for my well being and if I go around giving it to everyone I may end up broken and bitter. I have grown up trusting this belief, though I also think Phylicia didn't quite only mean giving only of our hearts but our mind, body and time as well.
There is so much I could say about all those but I am on that journey as well, the learning process. I realise I wasted so much time trying to love and get that love in return. Only now that my life is on the right track in terms of my career and building myself do I see the importance of putting yourself on a pedestal and having that child-like'mine mine mine' protection of your heart, mind, body and future.
My mum always says focus on what's infront of you now and the rest will follow.

Holiday Is Over

As much as I may be running away fripom blogging, it always seems to find me. Its like that one thing I can't run away from. So anyway here I am... Again! After nearly a whole year though maybe I do honestly feel I have a lot to share and give... So let me give it one more try before you all give me the 'loser blogger' tag.lol