ETIQUETTE 101

Call me an old lady or whatever but I like doing things as they are meant to be done. Proper procedure and proper etiquette to me is so important when it comes to getting proper results. At times I have that supposed stick up my behind but it’s for a good reason I just like the formal way of doing things and if something isn’t done the right way it just pisses me off.

Such things never bothered me before until recently. Number one, do not call me over for lunch if I will end up cooking the food myself I could have just stayed home. Number two, I don’t do dishes in other peoples homes especially where I was invited over for lunch, I say this with the utmost kindness, DO THEM YOURSELF. I always have shocking encounters with people, is it that I am easily shocked or that people are easily shock-ING or I just exude what I attract? (It’s them not me so whatever.)

The other day when visiting another shock creating being, she spent the entire day telling me terrifying stories about how people get robbed, beaten and thrown in the bushes naked in their neighborhood. Then later when I had to leave she told me that I had to walk to the stage by myself because her and her boyfriend didn’t want to get robbed. So I changed into my batman outfit and took the long journey through the terrible crime infested zone of Gotham city to the stage, by myself. Long story short we don’t talk as much anymore and I never called her when I got home because I think I spent half the night wondering where and how she was raised and who actually raised her. lol. A sucky raising job was done and the fact I didn’t call her back was enough proof that I thought that her manners sucked as well. Lol.

Do you see why I just hate improper mannerisms, especially when you don’t call back after spending a LOVELY day with someone? I love cooking (sometimes) and when I invite you over for lunch, dinner or breakfast it’s my own way of saying “I care about you so welcome to my world”. Unlike the rest of the female population I have associated with in the past, I make an effort to make my guests comfortable, I don’t tell them horrifying stories about my neighborhood because I actually want them to come back and I walk them to the stage and ensure they board the bus or matatu. I stand there with them until they get on the bus so I NEVER understand why some people don’t call to say thank you for lunch and I got home safely. Seriously, did you die on the way home? Wasn’t your day as lovely as I made sure it was? Were you kidnapped? Was my food so bad that the minute you got home you had a bout of diarrhoea that lasted the whole night? Did you get on the wrong bus? Was your phone stolen? Did you make an unfortunate unexpected stop at Gotham city like me? Lol.

The list of improper things to do goes on and on, returning things you borrow IMMEDIATELY. Notice the word immediately means immediately after you borrow them and not when you will be done over-using them. Saying please, I am sorry and thank you (etiquette 101) I could go on with this but I will just get stressed and pass out.

A lady is without a doubt her mannerisms and behavior so I am not going to make a speech on change who you are but make it short and simple. Seriously if the above things are a reflection of who you are si you should just adopt and embrace something called CHANGE.