An old friend reached out to me the other day with somewhat good news and a half pending story which has me scared and worried thinking what could it possibly be that she couldn’t tell me over the phone. The other thing that has me all worried is she didn’t sound so excited to have someone else there with me like an old girl friend she feels the other friends betrayed her in the past so why should she ask for their help. Sadness doesn’t begin to explain how I feel about the fact that she feels this way… are women naturally inclined to be horrible friends to each other? Are we structured in such a way that we can not value one another? And what does that say about ourselves? That a friend feels they can not and will not reach out to us whether in the present or future because we are just NOT TO BE TRUSTED.
I am not a good friend though I try to be, I have hurt others who have loved me, I have offended mocked, betrayed, stabbed(in the back), abandoned, distanced myself from friends. At times because of who they are but most times because of who I am or what I was going through at that time. Now I wonder just how many of those friends are going through something and feel they can not tell me despite because of one small thing I did, it changed that friend dynamic, it made those people think that maybe just maybe momo cant be trusted! And how many friends in response to how I treated them have they also decided to hurt because no one has really stepped up and said this is what true friendship is about spread what I show you. We cant deny the good or bad we show people around us is the good or bad that gets spread around. It’s a ripple effect of some sort.
Don’t we see it every day? We talk about our friends behind their backs, we aren’t their for them when they need us. shouldn’t their be a girl code that says every lady ought to honour the sacred vows of friendship! Maybe I should have a friend-wedding and all my girl-friends both old and new come and I pledge undying love, loyalty and commitment to them yes wedding dress, religious lleader, cake and all. I think we all need that we all need to feel that I have a girlfriend who will love me and is their for me. So to all my friends both past present and future I will make these vows adapted from the book of ruth in the Holy Bible:
Ruth chp1:16 “…where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die and there I will be buried. May the lord deal with me, be it ever so severely if NOTHING but death separates you and me.” NIV
Maybe each one of us should at least make a vow to our friends and I believe that once we are true to a few then it spreads to so many others out there.
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